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ravenOkay! This began as a to-do list for my reference, has somewhat transcended that now. Tomorrow, I have to:
-Return books to Social Science Library, pay off spectacularly awful fines, why have they not stopped me borrowing yet, I do not know;
-Return books to Philosophy Library, ditto;
-Read, re-read, edit, and reference awful awful essay on China, reiterate to self its awfulness, double-space the horrible thing, and add in something called "Paper Cover Sheet", also double-spaced, because tutor is American and insists on paperwork, ohgod;
-Go in to college, stand there with hands on hips in college office and SCREAM. Because they said, they SAID they were sending off transcripts to Law School Admissions Council, or at least not transcripts, but piece of paper saying "the University of Oxford does not issue transcripts", they said so, and I went back and checked twice and they kept on saying it, only for me to discover today that they did not in fact do this. The docments and addresses I gave them have been sitting in an office for six weeks and have got lost. Because of the six weeks' processing time, this means I may well miss deadline. Horrible woman from office said they would FedEx it, I do not believe them, am considering just sitting on the floor and crying until they send it in front of me.
-Go to a lecture! On International Relations in the Era of the Cold War! I hate the fucking Cold War!
-Go to a tutorial! Also on the Cold War! A double tute! One hour of which is in on of the grotty ghetto rooms in Balliol, and other god knows where because we're being chucked out at two. I voted for Starbucks, tutor has no objection, this may be the sole high point of day.
-Send off Cerberus emails, as usual, Anthony Kenny coming to speak on Monday, sure this will be terribly nice but I have no time. I was supposed to be doing Tiptop's art design for next term this afternoon, I had exactly two hours to do it in, neatly allocated, Sky was supposed to be either a) at home or b) leaving his door open for me to get in, did he do either of these things, did he fuck. Bastard wanker bastard is not remotely apologetic about it either, suggesting instead that maybe he should do the design instead of me. Bastard. Tiptop, or at least Pat, said they only trust me with it, which is flattering but ARGH NO TIME maybe on Sunday, if I get up early, maybe, oh god, why don't I just keel over and die of exhaustion, it would save on both stress and paperwork.
-Go to the computing services armed with external hard drive, great deal of patience and goats for ritual sacrifice. My computer is dead. Dead, deader than any number of potential dead things, really, really dead. I need to hold my breath and hope to retrieve 59GB of data. Am trying, also, very, very hard, not to cry over this.
-Somehow spend few hours reading about Kant, art and morality, I HATE MORALITY, it is a boring topic, it comes into everything and it has its own papers (see PPE Philosophy paper 101 (no, it actually is paper 101), Ethics) so why, why, I am just in the mood to be irrationally angry about it. Went to Aesthetics tute today, discovered the opinion I espoused in my last essay is not shared by any writer in the literature, tutor understandably upset about this. After hour of me trying helplessly to say no, no, I don't believe originality is an aesthetically relevant property, I really don't, I didn't write 1300 words on the subject just to be difficult, we reached the point where he was saying, "Have you even considered the epistemic ramifications of what you're saying oh God I sound like such a dick."
Yes he did and it wasn't my fault. Still not aesthetically relevant, so there.
-Wrap Maria's birthday presents. Which are great and awesome and not being discussed here just in case she's reading. But I feel like my brain may fall out if I sit still long enough to do something as nice and normal as wrap someone's birthday presents.
Obviously, must do all of above on no sleep, because is now four in the morning, I went to bed at eleven, actually, and have tossed and turned ever since on account of enormous splitting tension headache of doom. (I feel like my jaws are wired together. It is decidedly unpleasant.)
Also. I need to write another draft of my personal statement, because when don't I, and another essay on the Cold War before next Wednesday, and OULES performances begin at the end of next week, and really, I hate everything.
Paracetamol really doesn't work, does it? Beginning to feel as though my head will split into two neat halves, to reveal a label "if found, please return to Balliol College, Oxford" inside alongside some instant coffee powder and a large quantity of fluff.
-Return books to Social Science Library, pay off spectacularly awful fines, why have they not stopped me borrowing yet, I do not know;
-Return books to Philosophy Library, ditto;
-Read, re-read, edit, and reference awful awful essay on China, reiterate to self its awfulness, double-space the horrible thing, and add in something called "Paper Cover Sheet", also double-spaced, because tutor is American and insists on paperwork, ohgod;
-Go in to college, stand there with hands on hips in college office and SCREAM. Because they said, they SAID they were sending off transcripts to Law School Admissions Council, or at least not transcripts, but piece of paper saying "the University of Oxford does not issue transcripts", they said so, and I went back and checked twice and they kept on saying it, only for me to discover today that they did not in fact do this. The docments and addresses I gave them have been sitting in an office for six weeks and have got lost. Because of the six weeks' processing time, this means I may well miss deadline. Horrible woman from office said they would FedEx it, I do not believe them, am considering just sitting on the floor and crying until they send it in front of me.
-Go to a lecture! On International Relations in the Era of the Cold War! I hate the fucking Cold War!
-Go to a tutorial! Also on the Cold War! A double tute! One hour of which is in on of the grotty ghetto rooms in Balliol, and other god knows where because we're being chucked out at two. I voted for Starbucks, tutor has no objection, this may be the sole high point of day.
-Send off Cerberus emails, as usual, Anthony Kenny coming to speak on Monday, sure this will be terribly nice but I have no time. I was supposed to be doing Tiptop's art design for next term this afternoon, I had exactly two hours to do it in, neatly allocated, Sky was supposed to be either a) at home or b) leaving his door open for me to get in, did he do either of these things, did he fuck. Bastard wanker bastard is not remotely apologetic about it either, suggesting instead that maybe he should do the design instead of me. Bastard. Tiptop, or at least Pat, said they only trust me with it, which is flattering but ARGH NO TIME maybe on Sunday, if I get up early, maybe, oh god, why don't I just keel over and die of exhaustion, it would save on both stress and paperwork.
-Go to the computing services armed with external hard drive, great deal of patience and goats for ritual sacrifice. My computer is dead. Dead, deader than any number of potential dead things, really, really dead. I need to hold my breath and hope to retrieve 59GB of data. Am trying, also, very, very hard, not to cry over this.
-Somehow spend few hours reading about Kant, art and morality, I HATE MORALITY, it is a boring topic, it comes into everything and it has its own papers (see PPE Philosophy paper 101 (no, it actually is paper 101), Ethics) so why, why, I am just in the mood to be irrationally angry about it. Went to Aesthetics tute today, discovered the opinion I espoused in my last essay is not shared by any writer in the literature, tutor understandably upset about this. After hour of me trying helplessly to say no, no, I don't believe originality is an aesthetically relevant property, I really don't, I didn't write 1300 words on the subject just to be difficult, we reached the point where he was saying, "Have you even considered the epistemic ramifications of what you're saying oh God I sound like such a dick."
Yes he did and it wasn't my fault. Still not aesthetically relevant, so there.
-Wrap Maria's birthday presents. Which are great and awesome and not being discussed here just in case she's reading. But I feel like my brain may fall out if I sit still long enough to do something as nice and normal as wrap someone's birthday presents.
Obviously, must do all of above on no sleep, because is now four in the morning, I went to bed at eleven, actually, and have tossed and turned ever since on account of enormous splitting tension headache of doom. (I feel like my jaws are wired together. It is decidedly unpleasant.)
Also. I need to write another draft of my personal statement, because when don't I, and another essay on the Cold War before next Wednesday, and OULES performances begin at the end of next week, and really, I hate everything.
Paracetamol really doesn't work, does it? Beginning to feel as though my head will split into two neat halves, to reveal a label "if found, please return to Balliol College, Oxford" inside alongside some instant coffee powder and a large quantity of fluff.