raven: [hello my name is] and a silhouette image of a raven (hp - tonks puff)
[personal profile] raven
Hello, all. I have made it over the pond. Internet access is not perfect, but not bad. Weather is not perfect, but not bad. Things are pretty much okay for the time being.

The journey, I should mention, was quite, quite awful. The airline, whom I am not going to name in the interests of protecting the guilty (except, it was Continental; I was lying a minute ago) were so many different varieties of complete crap I would bore you all to death detailing them all, but big fat urgh. And to be fair to them, it wasn't entirely their fault that flying over the Atlantic has become something that is not fun - and I maintain that flying, even and especially flying long haul, is fun - and rather something that makes your heart sink into your boots. After my brief, three-hour nap, we went to the airport for six in the morning, for a departure at half nine, and I swear, we were in check-in and security checks for two solid hours. We were grilled, X-rayed, I surrendered a bottle of water and another of moisturizer, my shoes were checked and searched twice, and after queueing for an hour at check-in we had to queue another hour at the standard security check, and we had a last check at the gate, which was fraying people's patience.

And then the flight itself was pretty damn horrendous, too. It was a full flight, so very uncomfortable, and the food had the approximate taste and consistency of thermosoftening plastic, and I kept on trying to sleep and being woken up by inane announcements, and everything, and I mean everything, was geared towards American passengers. Understandable, yes, that this was a States-bound flight. But I was told by a sanctimonious stewardess that I couldn't hang around in the aisle because "federal law prohibits it."

I was very polite, honest. I didn't say a word of what I had in mind, which is this: I am a citizen in a country of a unitary parliamentary democracy and I really, really don't care about the laws of a country I am not currently in.

But I didn't say it. I left the shouting to Pedar, who was getting quite good at it by this time, having been denied a vegetarian meal he had in fact ordered and was being very cutting about salad-related incompetence.

At Newark, I was fingerprinted at Customs underneath a sign saying "Welcome To The United States of America." The thing is, I've never been anywhere where I've been more sure they didn't want me there. And at Newark, we'd been travelling a very long time, so Pedar suggested we sit down somewhere and have a decent lunch. So we did. He asked my mother if she wanted a glass of wine. She said yes. He asked if I wanted one. I said, "Thanks, that'd be nice."

Oh, you can tell where this story's going already. Not two minutes afterwards, an old woman came waddling out from behind the bar and said, "I don't know where you come from, but in the United States..."

So there evolved a French farce, with all of us staring at this glass of wine, which I wanted but couldn't drink, my mother didn't want because she didn't want two and Pedar only drinks in a blue moon. We just sat and stared at it, whilst the woman behind the counter just sat and stared at us. Possibly the most painfully awkward five minutes ever later, there was a flight boarding announcement. We were all still staring. Pedar picked up the glass and handed it to me, I knocked it back and we ran. The woman behind us was clucking impressively but couldn't keep up, and we only skidded to a halt on the aircraft. It was great.

So now I am here, finally, in the deep depths of suburbia, and it's really rather beautiful. The relatives we're staying with have moved since we were here last, and their new house is set in a planned community that gives way to cornfields at the horizon. In the foreground, every house is perfect and painted, every blade of grass in place, there is no litter, no one walks on the pavements and you can sit outside for hours in cricket-buzzing silence. There aren't any white picket fences but there might as well be. I find it all surreal and a little bit sinister. My uncle, mowing the lawn, told me that there is a local residents' byelaw or some such thing that states that you have to keep your grass below a certain length. I was completely freaked out. Whatever happened to freedom of thought, speech and movement? What if I want overgrown grass, dammit!

Nobody, however, takes me seriously. I am not exactly surprised. Still, I am enjoying myself a bit. My Hindi is getting a lot better - I'm still having grammar-related meltdowns, but today I managed enough linguistic complexity to describe to my grandmother the difference between American and British higher education, and it all does come back, it's true. Last night, Nupur took me with her to some high-school party she was invited to, and I had a tolerable time, although it was of course very tame, dry, and over before half eleven. A few funny things did happen - my favourites, in reverse order, were the girl who came up to me and asked, "Is London in England?", the terribly sweet (and, upon observation, sadly not gay, although I probably shouldn't even dare think that round here) girl who, upon hearing me say, "The thing about Chaucer is that he's terribly rude,", hugged me and said, "Your accent is so cute I could just eat you up!" and, lastly, the well-meaning host, who asked, "Are you having a nice time over here with your big sister?"

Laughing, I said that no, Nupur is not my big sister. She said, "Oh my god, sorry, you're in high school?"

"Er... no."

It happened again today, when someone asked if I'm in middle school or high school. It's official: I look about fifteen.

Ah, well. I must disappear and be sociable, and sit out on the deck under a very big sky. I was interested to learn that it's at least a thousand miles to the sea from here. I'm a long way from home.

BUT. Tomorrow I will be by Lake Michigan, and OMG OMG OMG [livejournal.com profile] gamesiplay and [livejournal.com profile] the_acrobat OMG I am incredibly excited OMG!

on 2006-09-03 04:54 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] a-t-rain.livejournal.com
Oh dear, I'm starting to feel like I should apologize for my country! We're not all like that, I swear! (I did grow up in one of those appalling planned communities, but thank God you can always move away...)

on 2006-09-03 05:17 pm (UTC)
icepixie: (TN plate)
Posted by [personal profile] icepixie
Oh, you can tell where this story's going already.

*snicker* Yeah, pretty much.

So glad I can go through the US citizens line in immigration and only get grilled about whether I have produce, meat, or dirt in my bags before getting a stamp and a rather cheery, "Welcome home." Fingerprinting? Gaaaah. The worst I got in your country was, "Who's paying your university tuition?" and "What are you studying?"

And those picture-perfect planned communities give me the willies as well. *shudder*

on 2006-09-03 05:20 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] rosariotijeras.livejournal.com
Gasp!

Iona!

We are in the same timezone!

Planned communities are....uuuuuuuuuuajsldfjalksjdfl;kasdfjkladf;jas'ldkjfasl;kdjfl;ksdajf;lkdsjf;lkadsf.

Best not to get me started.

on 2006-09-03 05:38 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] gamesiplay.livejournal.com
OMG OMG OMG.

I AM ABOUT TO GO PICK UP MEREDITH FROM THE AIRPORT YAAAAAY. And you will be IN THIS ROOM TOMORROW.

I don't care what our airports imply: we want you here. We want you here SO MUCH.

(Your alcohol story made me giggle and then feel very sad. I apologize for my puritanical country. Someday it'll be better. I hope.)

But mostly: OMG. I have to go get dressed! Meredith will be landing in two hours!

on 2006-09-03 05:46 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] gamesiplay.livejournal.com
P.S., if you get a chance, let me know if the flight number you gave me originally is correct. I don't want to lose you in the airport!

on 2006-09-03 06:50 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] annikah.livejournal.com
Chaucer? Rude? I haven't heard that one before. And fingerprinting? Goodness! Though, I had been gone for 7 months and I didn't even get a "welcome home"...

on 2006-09-03 08:45 pm (UTC)
gwynnega: (Four OMG silvernatasha)
Posted by [personal profile] gwynnega
Welcome to the United States. ::apologizes for various stupidities of my country:: :-)

on 2006-09-03 08:50 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] taraljc.livejournal.com
where by Lake Michigan?

on 2006-09-03 09:05 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] wishfulaces.livejournal.com
You're in Indy? In IN? *gets frighteningly homesick for the Hoosier state*

on 2006-09-03 09:25 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] loneraven.livejournal.com
I'll try my best to find out and drop you an email last thing tonight. OMG OMG OMG OMG!

on 2006-09-03 09:26 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] loneraven.livejournal.com
Err, Chicago in general is all I know! [livejournal.com profile] gamesiplay is doing all our planning and I'm going with the flow!

on 2006-09-03 09:26 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] loneraven.livejournal.com
*laughs* *schnoogles you*

on 2006-09-03 09:27 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] loneraven.livejournal.com
I think the fingerprinting is new - I hadn't been subjected to it previously.

on 2006-09-03 09:28 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] loneraven.livejournal.com
So we are! *waves at you over cornfields*

I shall not get you started. And I think you should know I am considering Mulder/Krycek right now, and it is pretty much all your fault.

on 2006-09-03 09:41 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] loneraven.livejournal.com
*laughs* Your country is full of awesome people. Sadly, none of them work for the US Customs and Excise. *g*

on 2006-09-03 09:42 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] loneraven.livejournal.com
I think the fingerprinting's a new thing - I hope so, anyway!

And oh, this place is creepy liek woah! Too perfect by far. :)

on 2006-09-03 09:45 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] johncoxon.livejournal.com
Continental are absolute shit and I hate them. Air New Zealand are brilliant and I love them. Only good for London to LA to Auckland, though...

on 2006-09-03 10:05 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] taraljc.livejournal.com
Zomg! I am in Chicago!

on 2006-09-04 02:01 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] a-t-rain.livejournal.com
To our great shame, actually most of the people who work for Customs are quite nice -- so long as one is light-skinned and American. Everybody else is pretty much screwed :(

on 2006-09-04 02:53 am (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] rosariotijeras.livejournal.com
I accept this fault as my own and eagerly await the results.

on 2006-09-04 01:50 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] ressie-noldo.livejournal.com
I'm reminded of one of my trips to the US a few years ago (I mean, even pre-9/11 and everything), wherein my family and I were forced to stand around for about four hours feeling a bit like criminals, while Customs blokes dug through my mum's things and speculated as to whether or not her sarees were in fact woven of trinitrotoluol (or something).

And for the record, I can't manage Hindi (or any other Indian language for that matter), and am therefore somewhat jealous of your ability to speak it at all (grammar-meltdowns notwithstanding). I always end up stuck at family gatherings grinning rather inanely at people who I can't understand and who can't understand me. (Ouch.)

on 2006-09-05 02:56 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] the-acrobat.livejournal.com
Ahhh! Only just reading this now. And things make SO much more sense. It looks like Continental and Newark universally treat everyone badly. I don't think I would ever go to Newark on purpose...
Federal law indeed.
It was SO good to see you!! :)

on 2006-09-05 06:01 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] loneraven.livejournal.com
For me, the world's best airline is Emirates. Everything else pales in comparison.

on 2006-09-05 06:03 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] loneraven.livejournal.com
They are AWFUL. I was accused once of carrying liquid explosive in a bottle of moisturizer. The punchline? I was nine at the time.

*schnoogles* I so know what you mean with the grinning inanely. I've been doing it all my life, and it's horrible.

on 2006-09-05 06:03 pm (UTC)
Posted by [identity profile] loneraven.livejournal.com
You too, you too! *clings to you*

on 2006-09-07 03:59 pm (UTC)
tau_sigma: (3D colourific Ten!)
Posted by [personal profile] tau_sigma
I am very slow at catching up on my flist. I blame London, yes. But re: your looking young? Apparently I do too. I went into church with Ben on Sunday morning, and was asked 'are you one of our new boarders?' ...I look 16 at best, then. WE ARE YOUTHFUL. When others look old and tired, we will look young and beautiful. Yes.

(I was then introduced as Ben's wife, but that's a totally different blush-inducing situation...)

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