I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

[raven]

Just watching Red Dwarf VII.

Oh, my.

"He's Arnold, Arnold, Arnold Rimmer, more reliable than a garden strimmer, he's also a really good swimmer..."

Such a smeghead, and yet everyone loves him dearly.

In other news, food shopping for one person is rather sad. I bought two pints of milk, a jar of instant coffee, some cheese, some sandwich ham, chocolate Hobnobs and a Fruit Corner, and felt very lonely while walking home carrying it. My parents called shortly after I got in, which made me feel even more lonely. They're in Las Vegas now, having made their way through DC, Indiana and San Francisco; they're having a very good time, apparently.

I had a bad day. Couldn't revise, couldn't concentrate at all, rambled around the house not doing very much, and realised I am not, as my mother asked before she left, afraid of the dark; I'm afraid of the silence.

I think a few more days of this will be okay. It's just all things happening at once. My parents leaving, I can cope with; my exams, I can cope with; my computer going kaboom, I can cope with - but my parents are gone, I'm alone, my revision requires concentration in silence, it's so quiet, and I don't have any writing to keep me busy.

It's so quiet. My mp3 player is a sweet, brushed metal thing that fits in the palm of my hand; it's quite frankly incredibly sexy-looking and I abuse it to death. One of its selling points, apart from the sleek lines, is its thirty-six-hour battery life. Generally I charge it once a week at most.

I charged it on Tuesday; it ran out this morning. That's two days. Forty-eight hours, some of which I must have spent sleeping.

Did I mention how quiet it is?

See, the thing is, I like quiet. I do. I don't like lots of people around me. I don't like being made to act normal.

I'll probably delete this tomorrow, or something. I'm going out in the evening with hathy_col and hammer_strike, and we're going to see Prisoner of Azkaban. I'm quite looking forward to it.

Comments

[gamesiplay.livejournal.com]

I have some inkling of what you mean about how awful an empty house can be. Of course, I just had a few days of it when my family went down South for a wedding, and even that was strange. I got accustomed to it by the end and started really enjoying being able to walk around talking to myself at normal conversational volume... but then again, that may just be me. And I didn't have exams or a problematic computer.

I also wanted to pipe up and say -- and this will make me sound dysfunctional -- that I am impressed that you buy your own food.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

It was fun to begin with - actually, I think it still is quite fun. It's one am and I'm not bothering to turn my music down, for one thing. But it's that whole business of human contact - I'd like to speak to someone once in a while.

I only buy my food when I have to - this was just me toddling down to the off-license because I was starving and there was quite literally nothing left in the house, unless I wanted to dine on three-years-out-of-date Bird's custard powder and paracetamol.

Which I didn't, although I'm not sure Hobnobs were particularly healthy, either.