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Top Ten Signs (In No Particular Order) that you're reading a fic by ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
loneraven. I was a little doubtful about doing this, because surely everyone else knows better than me what sort of fic I write, but I digress.
1. It's all third person POV, and it's in the present tense.
2. There is no shagging. If there is shagging, it is innuendo-laden and fades to black. With the sole exception of Love Is Not Love.
3. It contains the phrase "sleeping with ghosts". Seriously, way too many of them have this.
4. It's 800 words and builds up to a single punchline. I refer you to about half a dozen of my stories, most recently Bohemian Rose.
5. It makes a real effort to read/sound like the style of original. I know some people do what they like with the characters, and of course they can do that and do well, but with me, if it's Doctor Who, it's got to be campy and British, if it's Good Omens it's got to be funny and sharp, if it's M*A*S*H it's got to crackle with the show's sense of humour. I can't break out of the original mould with anything approaching ease. This may be why it takes me so long to write fic.
6. It uses definite, recurring themes. I use themes like light and time and flowers - old staples that I know will work, sort of like having favourite PS7 brushes.
7. It can be long or short or whatever, but it is a one-shot. No chapters for me, oh, no.
8. It ends with "finis" in bold; I just like doing this. I know it is wanky and pretentious, but I careth not.
9. It's either slow and pondering with lots of description or slow and pondering with lots of dialogue.
10. And, lastly: it is GEN.
In other news, The Vagina Monologues audition went moderately well, although I doubt I'm going to get a part. They were very keen to know if I'd been involved in drama before, and, well, I haven't because I can't act. I don't mind this all that much, but it is very true. Still, I've written for the stage. That's something, I guess. The two pieces I was asked to do were excerpts from "The Flood" and "My Angry Vagina", and in the end they asked me what my "response" to the two pieces was. I am somewhat dubious about being asked this sort of thing, as I always think they're after a particular answer, but I answered honestly that I think the latter is expertly crafted in the way it's written, and uses language for perfect shock effect, and that the former reminds me of a good friend who's performing it at the moment (namely,ka_crow).
Looking back, perhaps my approach to it is too clinical. Which is peculiar, because I get impatient with critical approaches so much and pontificate about the importance of just enjoying the language. And I do. I mean, I do enjoy language without the need to analyse it, but I guess I've been trained to analyse everything. I also thought I'd stop mentally analysing things after I stopped doing English as an academic subject, but clearly not.
And much as I'd like to ramble some more about it, I have to go and have an essay crisis.
loneraven. I was a little doubtful about doing this, because surely everyone else knows better than me what sort of fic I write, but I digress.1. It's all third person POV, and it's in the present tense.
2. There is no shagging. If there is shagging, it is innuendo-laden and fades to black. With the sole exception of Love Is Not Love.
3. It contains the phrase "sleeping with ghosts". Seriously, way too many of them have this.
4. It's 800 words and builds up to a single punchline. I refer you to about half a dozen of my stories, most recently Bohemian Rose.
5. It makes a real effort to read/sound like the style of original. I know some people do what they like with the characters, and of course they can do that and do well, but with me, if it's Doctor Who, it's got to be campy and British, if it's Good Omens it's got to be funny and sharp, if it's M*A*S*H it's got to crackle with the show's sense of humour. I can't break out of the original mould with anything approaching ease. This may be why it takes me so long to write fic.
6. It uses definite, recurring themes. I use themes like light and time and flowers - old staples that I know will work, sort of like having favourite PS7 brushes.
7. It can be long or short or whatever, but it is a one-shot. No chapters for me, oh, no.
8. It ends with "finis" in bold; I just like doing this. I know it is wanky and pretentious, but I careth not.
9. It's either slow and pondering with lots of description or slow and pondering with lots of dialogue.
10. And, lastly: it is GEN.
In other news, The Vagina Monologues audition went moderately well, although I doubt I'm going to get a part. They were very keen to know if I'd been involved in drama before, and, well, I haven't because I can't act. I don't mind this all that much, but it is very true. Still, I've written for the stage. That's something, I guess. The two pieces I was asked to do were excerpts from "The Flood" and "My Angry Vagina", and in the end they asked me what my "response" to the two pieces was. I am somewhat dubious about being asked this sort of thing, as I always think they're after a particular answer, but I answered honestly that I think the latter is expertly crafted in the way it's written, and uses language for perfect shock effect, and that the former reminds me of a good friend who's performing it at the moment (namely,
ka_crow). Looking back, perhaps my approach to it is too clinical. Which is peculiar, because I get impatient with critical approaches so much and pontificate about the importance of just enjoying the language. And I do. I mean, I do enjoy language without the need to analyse it, but I guess I've been trained to analyse everything. I also thought I'd stop mentally analysing things after I stopped doing English as an academic subject, but clearly not.
And much as I'd like to ramble some more about it, I have to go and have an essay crisis.
