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Mani, I know you read this. At least, I think you do, or otherwise you must be psychic. :) Anyway, I'm trying to get in touch with you, but I don't have a working email address for you. Mine is iona.raven[at]gmail.com - could you please drop me a note? Thanks very much. The usual suspects are on the warpath, I'm sure you understand. *g*
Jan. 18th, 2006
"In the future, where will I be?"
Jan. 18th, 2006 11:10 pmAssorted points of interest:
-I am doing no work and it is getting silly. It would be infinitely more sensible for me to be doing my free will versus responsibility reading tonight, but I keep thinking idly that I've got the whole weekend, quite ignoring I have washing, shopping, a visit from![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
amchau and a audition for the Vagina Monologues at the weekend. Regarding that last, I must be insane. I can't act. I really can't. I have trouble expressing my own emotions. I am going to suck.
-Butamchau is visiting me! We are going to the Ashmolean (I can see it as I type this; I live opposite it) where I have never been, embarrassingly enough. And we are going to have a nice afternoon not talking about religion in Aristophanes or Greek vases, which are subjects everyone wants to tell me about lately.
-Claire said, quite sensibly, "You are the only person I know who can get social anxiety about her own birthday party." Which is true, and I blame her, because I wasn't going to celebrate my birthday at all, and suddenly there will be lots of people and equally suddenly, I'm looking forward to it. Actually, the more the merrier, and there were people I shamefully forgot -wadiekin? slasheuse?
-Back to the original point, I have done no work. Tonight I guess I'm just going to bed; Claire has gone to the Narcissists in order to get very drunk. Everyone else is writing essays, including Sky, who is writing an essay for tomorrow's tute. He's my tute partner, which intimidates me. I don't like tute groups of only two because that means I have to talk. I got away with doing very little talking in all my Mill tutes last term.
-On to different assorted interest, I miss my parents. My mum has decided to send me a parcel this week - up until now she didn't know I had a postal address, I think - and aww, it makes me feel rather fuzzy, especially as she keeps emailing me and asking about something else she's thought of to put in it. I've said it before and I think I'm going to keep saying it, but ever since I finally moved out, my mum and I have started to get on properly, perhaps in the way we were always meant to. We don't fight so much about small things, and not nearly so much about big things. Instead, I just miss my parents when I'm away, and enjoy their company thoroughly when I am back up north. Which, I guess, is how it's supposed to be. I'm more and more aware of how lucky I am, in so many ways.
-Speaking of which, Pedar is coming down to London in February, so I rather think I'll go up and visit him. That week I also have to act as sheepdog for an American student, who's having trouble deciding between Yale and PPE at Balliol. (Pedar said, "Oh, my heart bleeds."), so she's shadowing me for a couple of days to see what life is like doing PPE here. I'm a little nervous at the thought of suddenly being, you know, an authority on the subject. The truly frightening thing is the fact that last term went in a flash, and this term feels like it's doing the same thing (I've been here nearly two weeks already, and it's only a nine week term.) I get the feeling that my Prelims are going to be on me far too soon.
-In fact, there are only two clouds on my horizon. One is the nagging fear that I'm not going to be this equable about work all through term, and from next week there will be angst, and the other is my Data Analysis Project. Because I am still a crazy person, I went to the Social Sciences Library and signed up for the Economics one today. And I know nothing, nothing at all about either Economics or Data Analysis. Crazy, crazy person.
(Oh, no, there is another cloud. It is, in short, the housing situation. Everyone in Oxford, seems to me, is talking about leases and lets and renting agreements and suchlike... in the meantime, I remain determinedly homeless. By the end of next week, I'll have gone through the college ballot. If all goes well, I'll be in a college-owned flat with Liya, Pat and Claire, near Social Sciences, which will be very much of the good. But if we don't get through the ballot, then there will have to be very hurried house-hunting and I'm dreading it.)
In conclusion - and this is beginning to sound like a philosophy essay - it is time for bed, at least for a while; I've no doubt I'll be woken up again when Claire gets back from Narcissists.
-I am doing no work and it is getting silly. It would be infinitely more sensible for me to be doing my free will versus responsibility reading tonight, but I keep thinking idly that I've got the whole weekend, quite ignoring I have washing, shopping, a visit from
amchau and a audition for the Vagina Monologues at the weekend. Regarding that last, I must be insane. I can't act. I really can't. I have trouble expressing my own emotions. I am going to suck.-But
amchau is visiting me! We are going to the Ashmolean (I can see it as I type this; I live opposite it) where I have never been, embarrassingly enough. And we are going to have a nice afternoon not talking about religion in Aristophanes or Greek vases, which are subjects everyone wants to tell me about lately.-Claire said, quite sensibly, "You are the only person I know who can get social anxiety about her own birthday party." Which is true, and I blame her, because I wasn't going to celebrate my birthday at all, and suddenly there will be lots of people and equally suddenly, I'm looking forward to it. Actually, the more the merrier, and there were people I shamefully forgot -
wadiekin? slasheuse?-Back to the original point, I have done no work. Tonight I guess I'm just going to bed; Claire has gone to the Narcissists in order to get very drunk. Everyone else is writing essays, including Sky, who is writing an essay for tomorrow's tute. He's my tute partner, which intimidates me. I don't like tute groups of only two because that means I have to talk. I got away with doing very little talking in all my Mill tutes last term.
-On to different assorted interest, I miss my parents. My mum has decided to send me a parcel this week - up until now she didn't know I had a postal address, I think - and aww, it makes me feel rather fuzzy, especially as she keeps emailing me and asking about something else she's thought of to put in it. I've said it before and I think I'm going to keep saying it, but ever since I finally moved out, my mum and I have started to get on properly, perhaps in the way we were always meant to. We don't fight so much about small things, and not nearly so much about big things. Instead, I just miss my parents when I'm away, and enjoy their company thoroughly when I am back up north. Which, I guess, is how it's supposed to be. I'm more and more aware of how lucky I am, in so many ways.
-Speaking of which, Pedar is coming down to London in February, so I rather think I'll go up and visit him. That week I also have to act as sheepdog for an American student, who's having trouble deciding between Yale and PPE at Balliol. (Pedar said, "Oh, my heart bleeds."), so she's shadowing me for a couple of days to see what life is like doing PPE here. I'm a little nervous at the thought of suddenly being, you know, an authority on the subject. The truly frightening thing is the fact that last term went in a flash, and this term feels like it's doing the same thing (I've been here nearly two weeks already, and it's only a nine week term.) I get the feeling that my Prelims are going to be on me far too soon.
-In fact, there are only two clouds on my horizon. One is the nagging fear that I'm not going to be this equable about work all through term, and from next week there will be angst, and the other is my Data Analysis Project. Because I am still a crazy person, I went to the Social Sciences Library and signed up for the Economics one today. And I know nothing, nothing at all about either Economics or Data Analysis. Crazy, crazy person.
(Oh, no, there is another cloud. It is, in short, the housing situation. Everyone in Oxford, seems to me, is talking about leases and lets and renting agreements and suchlike... in the meantime, I remain determinedly homeless. By the end of next week, I'll have gone through the college ballot. If all goes well, I'll be in a college-owned flat with Liya, Pat and Claire, near Social Sciences, which will be very much of the good. But if we don't get through the ballot, then there will have to be very hurried house-hunting and I'm dreading it.)
In conclusion - and this is beginning to sound like a philosophy essay - it is time for bed, at least for a while; I've no doubt I'll be woken up again when Claire gets back from Narcissists.
