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Urgh. So everything is, basically, pretty awful. I don't know why exactly. I'm falling to bits over maths, as per usual, but just because it happens all the time doesn't mean I have to get used to it, or so the theory goes. I am very very tired of falling to bits over maths. Particularly as most people think it's funny, which is fair, because quite a lot of the time it is funny. Arts student doing pure maths - that's funny; arts student being as laughably awful at it as you might predict - that's also funny; and even I can laugh at myself, sometimes. If you get something wrong by not one or two but by a magnitude of -10,000, all you can really do is laugh. And I guess other people have a perfect right to laugh at me, because I am awful.
But right now it's not funny and I'm tired of it, and, this is the good bit, term hasn't even started. I have to write a 2500 word essay in noughth week, and I haven't done any of the background reading just because I've been spending most of my time since I got back from India doing maths. I don't want to stay here forever, or at least I don't think I do, but the thought of going back fills me with fear. I'm just going to be rubbish at everything, again.
Also, I want to see people before I go, meet all the friends I hadn't had time to meet yet, but I don't think that's going to happen if I continue being awful at maths. And to make things just that little bit worse, I still don't have any clothes. My luggage is still lost in Munich or Delhi, no-one seems to know where, and I don't have the money to buy clothes so I just don't have any. I have the pair of jeans I had on when I came back, one red skirt I didn't take, maybe three t-shirts, one jumper and one bra. That's it. And that it will have to remain, as I'm probably not going to acquire money enough to replace things for quite some time. Lots of other things are gone too - four or five books, my fountain pen, some beautiful antique siver jewellery I was given in Rajasthan among other things - but I'm trying not to think about those.
2006 is really not going well.
But right now it's not funny and I'm tired of it, and, this is the good bit, term hasn't even started. I have to write a 2500 word essay in noughth week, and I haven't done any of the background reading just because I've been spending most of my time since I got back from India doing maths. I don't want to stay here forever, or at least I don't think I do, but the thought of going back fills me with fear. I'm just going to be rubbish at everything, again.
Also, I want to see people before I go, meet all the friends I hadn't had time to meet yet, but I don't think that's going to happen if I continue being awful at maths. And to make things just that little bit worse, I still don't have any clothes. My luggage is still lost in Munich or Delhi, no-one seems to know where, and I don't have the money to buy clothes so I just don't have any. I have the pair of jeans I had on when I came back, one red skirt I didn't take, maybe three t-shirts, one jumper and one bra. That's it. And that it will have to remain, as I'm probably not going to acquire money enough to replace things for quite some time. Lots of other things are gone too - four or five books, my fountain pen, some beautiful antique siver jewellery I was given in Rajasthan among other things - but I'm trying not to think about those.
2006 is really not going well.
