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Jul. 8th, 2004 10:23 pmI'm so bored. Out of my mind, in fact.
No-one say anything stupid like "It's only the first day of the holidays!" and then giggle inanely as though this is an incredibly clever remark. For me, it is not the first day of the holidays. For me, it is the first day in weeks that I am legitimately doing nothing as opposed to circumspectly doing nothing. This is just as confusing as it sounds. Plus, I am playing host. Relatives are all very well, and I am doing my best to be welcoming, but it's tiring. What I want is a week, maybe even a day, totally on my own with no demands made of me, no-one needs me to do anything or be anywhere, and just sleep in, get up, lurk on the internet, randomly watch VH1, listen to Placebo on top volume and write.
Sounds fun, doesn't it?
But it ain't going to happen, not really. I'm just finding it a little suffocating, having so many people in the house. And I am now apparently incapable of writing anything, which is crushingly disappointing after I've been looking forward to have time for it for days.
So, um, yes. I am not happy. Quite clearly, I am at a point where nothing makes me happy.
No-one say anything stupid like "It's only the first day of the holidays!" and then giggle inanely as though this is an incredibly clever remark. For me, it is not the first day of the holidays. For me, it is the first day in weeks that I am legitimately doing nothing as opposed to circumspectly doing nothing. This is just as confusing as it sounds. Plus, I am playing host. Relatives are all very well, and I am doing my best to be welcoming, but it's tiring. What I want is a week, maybe even a day, totally on my own with no demands made of me, no-one needs me to do anything or be anywhere, and just sleep in, get up, lurk on the internet, randomly watch VH1, listen to Placebo on top volume and write.
Sounds fun, doesn't it?
But it ain't going to happen, not really. I'm just finding it a little suffocating, having so many people in the house. And I am now apparently incapable of writing anything, which is crushingly disappointing after I've been looking forward to have time for it for days.
So, um, yes. I am not happy. Quite clearly, I am at a point where nothing makes me happy.
