Liverpool Duck Tours

Somehow or other I have managed to find the only computer in the newsroom with internet access. At least people are always typing here - I shouldn't be doing this, I should be looking up information for a three-hundred-word feature about family things to do at the Albert Dock, but what can I say, I'm addicted to livejournal. As are we all.

And what do you know, I've found exactly what I'm looking for - a site all about Liverpool's Duck Tours. I have no idea why this is worth putting in the newspaper, but they're letting me write it, which can only be a good thing. Apparently the Powers That Be liked my Beatles article enough to let me write this. For some reason, I seem to be writing a lot more articles than Sarah. She's moaning that all she gets to do is type up letters, and I haven't done any of those for a while. There's someone new in this morning - her name's Jenny, and she's spent the last few hours battling with a four-thousand-word letter some Protestant supremacist has written whilst pissed and sent into the paper. She's had to trim it down to three hundred words, and has been reading out the more choice bits for the edification of all.

As always, everyone knows everyone in a small town. I rang up a woman to interview her about a performance of Die Fledermaus in Southport, and she turned out to know both Pedar and lilka. It was quite worrying. In fact, it's worrying how many people know Pedar around here. The amount of times someone's eyes have fallen on my name and they've exclaimed, "Oh, you're his daughter!"

It'll be lunch soon, and I'll be thinking of gamesiplay whilst I buy my sandwich.

Houdini

The afternoon, then. I bought the sandwich, and curled up outside to eat it. It was grey and cloudy again, which was annoying, but not uncomfortable, and just as I bit into it, Libby, Ling and Jemma came up. They were rather nice to talk to, if somewhat detached, and I managed to while away the time easily enough. I went back to the office and finished off the Duck Tours article, adding on the caption and competition coupon. The irritating thing was, I couldn't make up the competition question, they'd already given us one. And it was an anagram. Unscramble 'CHIVESEEL' to give a word that has already appeared in the text above. The problem was of course the fact I hadn't used their press release, preferring to just incorporate the information into a feature of my own, and I had no way of knowing whether the unscrambled word was in the text above or not. No way out then, but to solve the anagram.

Within a few minutes, half the office were at it, and after ten minutes' concentrated effort, Graham (short, cute, unbelievable resemblance to Harry Potter) had got the closest. "Vehicles" with an extra E. I eventually decided that they had made a mistake, and simply made sure "vehicles" was in my text, and changed "CHIVESEEL" into "CHIVESEL." Problem solved. I even found the picture to go with.

The next problem in the office? The matter of the front page headline. Tomorrow is Friday, the day the main Southport Visitor is published, so everything has to be finalised tonight. There were two contenders for the front page news. The first one, a sob story involving a woman who laid out fairy lights on her stillborn son's grave only to have them stolen. The vote was unanimous in favour of the other story. It involves the North West Search For a Star talent competition. One of the entrants was an escape artist who calls himself Nicky Flash. Whilst on stage in chains and a sack, the key he uses to unlock the padlock got stuck. He groaned and struggled and almost flipped himself, but the audience continued thinking it was a part of the act until about twenty minutes had passed, and he'd started shouting for help. He came last in the competition, and was quoted as saying he's disappointed, and "it was fun, but hardly brain surgery.

And now for the good part. The headlines. Graham's suggestion was "Who Let The Twat Out The Bag?"
Kate said they couldn't put "twat" in a family newspaper.
He then suggested, "Who Let The Prat Out Of The Bag?"
Kate said it was libel.
"Who Let The Alleged Prat Out The Bag?" proved too long.
The next suggestions were "Opportunity Locks" and "Up The Creek Without A Padlock." Graham helpfully presented them with, "Let Me Out, You Bastards."
Jenny's suggestion was my favourite - "Jumpin' Sack Flash!"
However, it all depends on the subs, and what fits. It would have been "Caught In The Act" but that was last week's headline.

We shall see. I will of course pick up a copy of the paper on my way in. Tomorrow is my last day, and I'm really rather disappointed. I've enjoyed myself. It was boring in places, but I really have. Pedar asked if I could imagine myself doing this for the rest of my life. I said yes. With reservations - I wouldn't want to work on local news for the rest of my life, but somehow, yes, I can do this. I can write. And it's amazing how free that makes me feel.

On a more prosaic note, I got home and rang up BT, and they were oddly helpful. We're getting a wireless network! The pack will come on Tuesday, and I can install it without much difficulty, so both computers will be permanently connected to the internet. Yay.