Literary thoughts
May. 19th, 2003 09:51 amI never remember my dreams unless I'm woken up in the middle of them.
I did remember them this morning, but they've gone now. It was my mother, who is always surprised when she uses my hairdryer (in my room!) and I wake up. She thought it providential. I disagreed. I fail to see how an hour's extra sleep this morning could have made a different to my GCSEs, but in any case, there I was, awake at nine am and not too happy about it.
I will have to go through my notes for the AQA Anthology poetry. Not that I feel like it will make much difference at this stage - I'm still afraid I'm going to fuck the whole thing up on Wednesday. I don't care about the Drama so much - can fuck that up and welcome - but I don't want to give anyone any ammunition, if, say, I fuck up English Literature and do much better in, say, Biology. Talking of Biology, if I had the bottle I'd walk out of the exam. I couldn't knowingly answer questions wrongly, so that would leave the option of just leaving the paper blank. But I won't do that, I know. I may not revise a great deal, but I'll do the goddamn paper to the best of my ability. So much for being a rebel.
I came to the conclusion not long ago that I am not a literary person, like
lilka or
purplerainbow or
gamesiplay, who all are. They all write exceptionally well, but they also have a knowledge and understanding of literature that I simply don't have or care to acquire. I appreciate prose, but I'm dense about poetry, and in any case, I'd find it easier anaylsing an amino acid than a piece of writing. That seems to be the way it is.
In the meantime, I have to do the bloody exam, so revision it is.
I did remember them this morning, but they've gone now. It was my mother, who is always surprised when she uses my hairdryer (in my room!) and I wake up. She thought it providential. I disagreed. I fail to see how an hour's extra sleep this morning could have made a different to my GCSEs, but in any case, there I was, awake at nine am and not too happy about it.
I will have to go through my notes for the AQA Anthology poetry. Not that I feel like it will make much difference at this stage - I'm still afraid I'm going to fuck the whole thing up on Wednesday. I don't care about the Drama so much - can fuck that up and welcome - but I don't want to give anyone any ammunition, if, say, I fuck up English Literature and do much better in, say, Biology. Talking of Biology, if I had the bottle I'd walk out of the exam. I couldn't knowingly answer questions wrongly, so that would leave the option of just leaving the paper blank. But I won't do that, I know. I may not revise a great deal, but I'll do the goddamn paper to the best of my ability. So much for being a rebel.
I came to the conclusion not long ago that I am not a literary person, like
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In the meantime, I have to do the bloody exam, so revision it is.