Sleepiness

I have got to go to bed, despite the wonderful diversions on the internet.

Have just realised that for the next four days, I have no school and my mother's not going to work.

We're going to kill each other.

'Night, all.

Guiding lights

Time passes so fast. It might be something to do with the fact I got up at midday, but that's neither here nor there. I have spent the afternoon lying in the conservatory with my chemistry notes everywhere. Pedar has been apparently reading a detective story, but he hasn't been, really. He's back in the education business with a vengeance. Not that I mind his educating me, it's just... no, I don't mind at all if it means I don't have to do chemistry. But yeah. The problem with Pedar's lectures is they always begin and end with proteins. Proteins are God. Proteins are the saviour of mankind. Proteins, proteins, (amino acids), proteins, proteins, (carbohydrates), and more proteins.

The conservatory is very pretty today, because of the weather being so lovely. I'm actually enjoying the day so far. That's unexpected. Not long ago, I remembered it was Good Friday, which always seemed to me to be a spectacularly inappropriate name for it, if you believe in that kind of thing, which I don't.

Pedar doesn't, either. He's very fatalistic but also something of an agnostic, which I've given up trying to make sense of. Not having any kind of religious upbringing whatsoever, I think I'll probably stay an agnostic my entire life. It's easier that way. Hedging my bets. In the meantime, I think these summer discussions, so called because they only ever happen when Pedar and I are sitting in the conservatory in the summer, will keep me amused, entertained, informed and educated, and as all of these are good things I don't need the religion others seem to thrive on.

I detest the thought that people who don't Believe cannot be Good People. I want to be a tolerant good person who lives according to a set of principles; but I want those principles to be my own. My own guiding lights. Which are probably much like Pedar's. I bet there are few other teenage girls who spend so much time in conversation with their fathers. But then again, I'm supposed to be lucky. And I am, with playing cards, so why not the rest of my life, too?