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Northern Lights
Aug. 18th, 2002 02:17 amCam saw the Northern Lights today. Lucky bitch.
Hell, after that, why am I bothering to write about my day today? I should go to bed....
Anyway, went to town with Loz, and met Mandi. I liked her, but I've met precious few people louder than her.
It was hot. So hot, we spent a lot of time sitting on Chavasse quietly under blue skies. I guess I don't see the appeal of going there. I don;t see the appeal of a lot of things - I'm fucking lonely by myself and lonely in a crowd. It seems to be part of my personality. I have to hold people at a distance, both literally (hug-phobia) and figuratively (paranoia). But my personality problems are not the subject of this. I went to the bead shop briefly, and bought beads - red and clear stars, to go on silver thread. I'd like to make the bracelet tomorrow, and I'll also have to call Emily. But I want to do that - I've missed her like hell, I guess. I like her, and I like precious few people - she accepts me and my paranoia as part of the furniture. I should call her. I will.
I left Chavasse, but I didn't go straight home - instead, I went to Subway and bought a sandwich and cookie, and I enjoyed it. I love solitude in small doses. It's whole days and weeks of solitude that turns me into the paranoid lonely paradigm of screwed-up-ness.
I reached home and found my parental units had tidied the library. It's a proper bibiliophiles' paradise again - book-lined and messy. Afterwards, we went to Bala's. My mother made me wear a dress. Yuk.
It was boring, but Neeraj and I ended up watching this old film with Steve Martin in it, and I actually got into it. This was as well as watching the first half hour of Cruel Intentions, though I now seem doomed never to know what happens in it.
Now, I will go to bed.
Hell, after that, why am I bothering to write about my day today? I should go to bed....
Anyway, went to town with Loz, and met Mandi. I liked her, but I've met precious few people louder than her.
It was hot. So hot, we spent a lot of time sitting on Chavasse quietly under blue skies. I guess I don't see the appeal of going there. I don;t see the appeal of a lot of things - I'm fucking lonely by myself and lonely in a crowd. It seems to be part of my personality. I have to hold people at a distance, both literally (hug-phobia) and figuratively (paranoia). But my personality problems are not the subject of this. I went to the bead shop briefly, and bought beads - red and clear stars, to go on silver thread. I'd like to make the bracelet tomorrow, and I'll also have to call Emily. But I want to do that - I've missed her like hell, I guess. I like her, and I like precious few people - she accepts me and my paranoia as part of the furniture. I should call her. I will.
I left Chavasse, but I didn't go straight home - instead, I went to Subway and bought a sandwich and cookie, and I enjoyed it. I love solitude in small doses. It's whole days and weeks of solitude that turns me into the paranoid lonely paradigm of screwed-up-ness.
I reached home and found my parental units had tidied the library. It's a proper bibiliophiles' paradise again - book-lined and messy. Afterwards, we went to Bala's. My mother made me wear a dress. Yuk.
It was boring, but Neeraj and I ended up watching this old film with Steve Martin in it, and I actually got into it. This was as well as watching the first half hour of Cruel Intentions, though I now seem doomed never to know what happens in it.
Now, I will go to bed.
