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May. 15th, 2002 10:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ravenI hate using words to say what I think and feel - I hate how words are never enough to express anything! The only way to understand what it feels like to be me is to be me, and right now I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I'm writing this in the dark with the music so loud I can barely hear it.
I hate being told what to do all the time! I hate taking orders from anyone - I hate being so settled in my own skin I can't take criticism of any sort, I hate being so unhappy to be me that I wish I was someone else. I wish I wasn't two people in one skin. I hate the feeling of being trapped here where I'll always have someone watching me and telling me what to do. I love peace and no quiet - loud music in solitude. I hate people because I'm afraid of them - I hate the way the only person who won't hurt me is myself. I hate the fear of what people will think - I hate the way I have to choose between living my own life and breaking someone's heart.
I hate how I seem to be happy. I don't hate being happy. I love the silence that comes when I'm actually happy. I live for the quiet. I have to feel like this before I'll listen to music. I have to listen to music I can drown in and forget in.
I want to be safe and free. I wish I knew why I feel like this.
Turn her over
A candle is lit, I see through her
Blow it out and save all her ashes for me
Curse me sold her
The poison that runs it's course through her
Pale white skin with strawberry gashes all over all over
Watch me fault her
You're living like a disaster
She said kill me faster
with strawberry gashes all over
Called her over
and asked her if she was improving
She said "feels fine" it's wonderful wonderful here
Hex me told her
I dreamt of a devil that knew her
Pale white skin with strawberry gashes all over all over
Watch me fault her
You're living like a disaster
She said kill me faster
with strawberry gashes all over
I lay quiet
waiting for her voice to say
"Some things you lose and some things you just give away"
Scold me failed her
If only I'd held on tighter to her
Pale white skin that twisted and withered away from me away from me
Watch me lose her
It's almost like losing myself
Give her my soul
and let them take somebody else get away from me
Watch me fault her
You're living like a disaster
She said kill me faster
with strawberry gashes all over all over me
I hate being told what to do all the time! I hate taking orders from anyone - I hate being so settled in my own skin I can't take criticism of any sort, I hate being so unhappy to be me that I wish I was someone else. I wish I wasn't two people in one skin. I hate the feeling of being trapped here where I'll always have someone watching me and telling me what to do. I love peace and no quiet - loud music in solitude. I hate people because I'm afraid of them - I hate the way the only person who won't hurt me is myself. I hate the fear of what people will think - I hate the way I have to choose between living my own life and breaking someone's heart.
I hate how I seem to be happy. I don't hate being happy. I love the silence that comes when I'm actually happy. I live for the quiet. I have to feel like this before I'll listen to music. I have to listen to music I can drown in and forget in.
I want to be safe and free. I wish I knew why I feel like this.
Turn her over
A candle is lit, I see through her
Blow it out and save all her ashes for me
Curse me sold her
The poison that runs it's course through her
Pale white skin with strawberry gashes all over all over
Watch me fault her
You're living like a disaster
She said kill me faster
with strawberry gashes all over
Called her over
and asked her if she was improving
She said "feels fine" it's wonderful wonderful here
Hex me told her
I dreamt of a devil that knew her
Pale white skin with strawberry gashes all over all over
Watch me fault her
You're living like a disaster
She said kill me faster
with strawberry gashes all over
I lay quiet
waiting for her voice to say
"Some things you lose and some things you just give away"
Scold me failed her
If only I'd held on tighter to her
Pale white skin that twisted and withered away from me away from me
Watch me lose her
It's almost like losing myself
Give her my soul
and let them take somebody else get away from me
Watch me fault her
You're living like a disaster
She said kill me faster
with strawberry gashes all over all over me