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ravenIn the good news, yesterday's chicken 'n' pepper culinary disaster seems to have an unexpected good point. It makes an excellent sandwich filling. So, having eaten two of these sandwiches, I am considerably less hungry than I was. In the not-so-good news, the weather is back to windy-wintry. I went out into the garden for a few moments and was almost blown off my feet by the wind. Not that it's not a nice wind - it's clean and refreshing and cold - but it's rather a culture shock after last week's mini-heatwave.
I have to babysit tonight, again, and I really, really, don't want to. I want to stay safe at home and preferably, stay in bed. The weather is having that effect on me. I'm feeling slightly lonely but the cold air is improving my mood no end; it's true I have seasonal depression but it happens the wrong way round. I coast along in hot weather, feeling aimless and frustrated, but cold weather makes everything all right again. So I guess the wind-change is a good thing, after all.
But yes - the babysitting job. I think after tonight I will just politely decline all these jobs; I did appreciate the money, but I don't really need it. It just sits in my purse and I never spend it. I would like to buy a few things - that Grin slogan top - "Never trust anything that can bleed for five days and not die" - and I still want a nice, black, leather, spiky, dogcollar, but the possible repercussions and reverberations and hungama make me tired. I haven't undergone anything resembling retail therapy for quite some time now; I'm not sure why that is. I like shopping and I like clothes; who doesn't? The problem nowadays is I never see anything and think I want that. Or the problem is, I'm always seeing stuff and thinking I want that but buying it would mean argument with mother that would spiral into the Inevitable Discussion and I'm too tired for that so let's forget the whole thing.
My mother once asked me what I would wear if she weren't there to stop me. The answer is, somewhat pathetically, not much different to the clothes I wear now. Just that dogcollar, and more beads, and more profane slogan tops, and a pair of really nice, heavy, chunky gothic boots. I'd wear more crazy-looking-stuff, and more red stuff. That's all.
In the meantime, I have nowhere to go and no-one to go with. I think perhaps I'll go for a walk, out into the cold, and maybe everything will be all right.
I have to babysit tonight, again, and I really, really, don't want to. I want to stay safe at home and preferably, stay in bed. The weather is having that effect on me. I'm feeling slightly lonely but the cold air is improving my mood no end; it's true I have seasonal depression but it happens the wrong way round. I coast along in hot weather, feeling aimless and frustrated, but cold weather makes everything all right again. So I guess the wind-change is a good thing, after all.
But yes - the babysitting job. I think after tonight I will just politely decline all these jobs; I did appreciate the money, but I don't really need it. It just sits in my purse and I never spend it. I would like to buy a few things - that Grin slogan top - "Never trust anything that can bleed for five days and not die" - and I still want a nice, black, leather, spiky, dogcollar, but the possible repercussions and reverberations and hungama make me tired. I haven't undergone anything resembling retail therapy for quite some time now; I'm not sure why that is. I like shopping and I like clothes; who doesn't? The problem nowadays is I never see anything and think I want that. Or the problem is, I'm always seeing stuff and thinking I want that but buying it would mean argument with mother that would spiral into the Inevitable Discussion and I'm too tired for that so let's forget the whole thing.
My mother once asked me what I would wear if she weren't there to stop me. The answer is, somewhat pathetically, not much different to the clothes I wear now. Just that dogcollar, and more beads, and more profane slogan tops, and a pair of really nice, heavy, chunky gothic boots. I'd wear more crazy-looking-stuff, and more red stuff. That's all.
In the meantime, I have nowhere to go and no-one to go with. I think perhaps I'll go for a walk, out into the cold, and maybe everything will be all right.