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So I had a truly dreadful week, but it ended well and I am happy. I got a solid ten hours' sleep last night, woke up to a beautiful autumn day - oh, beautiful; a solid dome of blue, horizon to horizon, trees blushed and gold, a hectic brilliance to everything - and went to the Tompkins County library booksale and bought seven novels for twenty-one dollars. And was there with friends who love books, moreover; I also got a copy of Good Omens and presented it to a chap I know would love it, and he grinned at me from beneath a mess of curls, the aftermath of a hard-cider lunch and that hectic brilliance of everything, and told me that I am amazing. Which I am, and which everything is.
(I love him, rather. In an entirely platonic way, but it's no less love. He has lived in Ireland, and India, and is full of life and interesting factoids and gives me the comforting sense that here is someone who thinks like I do on most things. He describes himself as "a brown Jewish amicable know-it-all".
"Like Jesus," I said, with far too much glee.)
Other things! Well, tonight I am being a social person and spending an evening with actual people, and yesterday I bought a pair of shoes, and they are entirely impractical leather heels and I love them. And tomorrow I am flying to see my aunt and uncle, and a week out of Ithaca with some of my family will be very nice indeed.
And, and. I don't know if I mentioned it, but on Thursday I had arranged to see one of my tutors about a topic for my research, and when I emailed I thought she would give me the location of her office and that would be that. Instead she suggested having lunch at a Korean place in town. I made slight gulpy noises and agreed. She's not one of the law faculty; most of my courses are cross-listed with the school of government, so she tends to treat me as though I were a grad student rather than a lawyer.
And it was really great! We talked around it all for a while, she turned out to know some of my tutors at Balliol, and then when we talked about what I wanted to write about, I asked her how focused I should make my eventual paper. Should I take a broad overview (which I hate), or should I do a rigorous look at a smaller point.
"You should do whatever you want," she said. "You'll pull it off, you're gifted."
I am happy! I keep wondering, you know, in the dimmer moments, what I'm doing here, if I really should be here, and I had reservations about taking a seminar that is mostly filled with political science PhD candidates, but I'm okay, I'm participating. And now I feel properly enthused about making a proper start on my research during fall break.
Onwards and upwards. Now to clean my apartment, which insists on festering at me, and then to the law school to print some things, and packing. Onwards and upwards.
(I love him, rather. In an entirely platonic way, but it's no less love. He has lived in Ireland, and India, and is full of life and interesting factoids and gives me the comforting sense that here is someone who thinks like I do on most things. He describes himself as "a brown Jewish amicable know-it-all".
"Like Jesus," I said, with far too much glee.)
Other things! Well, tonight I am being a social person and spending an evening with actual people, and yesterday I bought a pair of shoes, and they are entirely impractical leather heels and I love them. And tomorrow I am flying to see my aunt and uncle, and a week out of Ithaca with some of my family will be very nice indeed.
And, and. I don't know if I mentioned it, but on Thursday I had arranged to see one of my tutors about a topic for my research, and when I emailed I thought she would give me the location of her office and that would be that. Instead she suggested having lunch at a Korean place in town. I made slight gulpy noises and agreed. She's not one of the law faculty; most of my courses are cross-listed with the school of government, so she tends to treat me as though I were a grad student rather than a lawyer.
And it was really great! We talked around it all for a while, she turned out to know some of my tutors at Balliol, and then when we talked about what I wanted to write about, I asked her how focused I should make my eventual paper. Should I take a broad overview (which I hate), or should I do a rigorous look at a smaller point.
"You should do whatever you want," she said. "You'll pull it off, you're gifted."
I am happy! I keep wondering, you know, in the dimmer moments, what I'm doing here, if I really should be here, and I had reservations about taking a seminar that is mostly filled with political science PhD candidates, but I'm okay, I'm participating. And now I feel properly enthused about making a proper start on my research during fall break.
Onwards and upwards. Now to clean my apartment, which insists on festering at me, and then to the law school to print some things, and packing. Onwards and upwards.
