raven: [hello my name is] and a silhouette image of a raven (misc - raven writes)
raven ([personal profile] raven) wrote2010-07-05 09:51 pm

Ficlet:: Growth [Aubrey-Maturin]

A snapshot for [livejournal.com profile] teh_elb, who wanted wee Stephen Maturin.

Ficlet:: Growth
by Raven
G, gen, Aubrey-Maturin series, 700 words. Stephen, at twelve, is just beginning.


By the age of twelve, Stephen knew the meanings of a great number of words. Among them: digitalis, which was from the Latin, named for the way the petals of the flower encased his fingers, neatly, to the first joint; crepuscular, which was the blurred and interesting time before the nightfall; and bastard, which was what they called him. Women came from the village with food on occasion, stepping in their long skirts through the paths towards the castle, and they murmured in Catalan, sometimes, but they were foreigners; they called him bhudh, quietly, hiding the shape of their lips behind their hands.

Twenty years later and on the other side of the world Stephen would learn the word, would learn that it meant ghost, and be pulled back as though anchored across the intervening time, to that summer with its intensity of colour, and see himself as through the eyes of another: see those young, pale eyes, that white face against the riot of greens and yellows, the rich black of gnarly oak, and be unsurprised. At that time he had been caught up in the strangeness of it all, and thought nothing of his own strangeness. He had been startled by kites, dazzled by sunshine, fascinated by tortoises, thirsty for knowledge, and for rain.

More years had passed than twenty before he asked, plaintively, "Why, Jack, do the men tell their tall tales on long, dark winter's nights? Do they not understand that this" – this was the Pacific in a becalming, blue below and above, colour that hurt one'e eyes to look at – "is by far more unnatural?"

And he spoke half in jest - "I was not aware the heat troubled you, Stephen," Jack said, no doubt with Stephen's less than naval view on the necessity of clothing in his mind – but with that dragging anchor pulling him back through time, to those first days, that eerie learning of the anatomy of heat. He had come from Ireland; he had found the sailing a trial to his stomach before he had found it a stimulus to his mind, and in these new ruins, found his attention shifting to each cardinal point in turn, drawn this direction and that by everything that swam and flew, fluttered and scuttled its way across the earth.

It was in that summer that he learned the meaning of foreigner; that in truth it was a meaningless term, that all had travelled somewhere to be where they were, and he was foreign himself, to himself, and to all around. He had been told of the castle before this journey, and had he listened that might have made it familiar to him, if it were not that at twelve, he had outgrown fairy stories.

Later, his godfather had laughed at his grubbings in the ground, his scratchings of notes, and called him, too, a small thing that scurried, but Stephen had laughed in return, knowing no insult was meant. Through ghostly summer nights he stalked bats, already grown too old to hear their calls, but patient enough to wait for the sweep of their wings on his cheek, and old enough to envy them that peace and freedom of flight. By day there were geckos, and flowers the like of which he had not seen. It was a world of dizzy and distant riches, to be studied and catalogued but also to be drunk in, handled as rich earth spilling through small hands. He had grown older in mere days and years in that place, Catalan replacing Irish as the quicker language on his lips, but it was also, in that place, that he had begun to be whom he would be.

Jack asked him, very much later, "When did you come by your interest in nature, Stephen? Was it as a boy?"

"Not now, Jack, I see my albatross" – but Stephen was thinking of summer, remembering that first time he had felt no fear of the creatures of the earth and sky, knowing himself a part of all he studied, knowing himself.

finis.

[personal profile] stained_glass 2010-07-05 08:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh my God, oh my God, it is so stunningly beautiful. I want to drink it in. More coherent reply to follow. Oh my God.

[personal profile] stained_glass 2010-07-05 09:09 pm (UTC)(link)
At that time he had been caught up in the strangeness of it all, and thought nothing of his own strangeness. He had been startled by kites, dazzled by sunshine, fascinated by tortoises, thirsty for knowledge, and for rain.

If I could kiss with words, it would be these ones. How utterly perfect.

this was the Pacific in a becalming, blue below and above, colour that hurt one'e eyes to look at

Exquisite. You are the master of description.

He had come from Ireland; he had found the sailing a trial to his stomach before he had found it a stimulus to his mind, and in these new ruins, found his attention shifting to each cardinal point in turn, drawn this direction and that by everything that swam and flew, fluttered and scuttled its way across the earth.

*shrieks* This is honestly one of the best Aubreyad fics I have ever read. Seriously. This is just the perfect portrait of Stephen.

Through ghostly summer nights he stalked bats, already grown too old to hear their calls, but patient enough to wait for sweep of their wings on his cheek, and old enough to envy them that peace and freedom of flight.

That sentence - it is squirming and fluttering in my chest, I adore it so much.

"Not now, Jack, I see my albatross" – but Stephen was thinking of summer, remembering that first time he had felt no fear of the creatures of the earth and sky, knowing himself a part of all he studied, knowing himself.

*is actually moved to tears*

I honestly think that was the most beautiful Aubreyad fic I have ever read. Your writing is always so lush and vibrant and haunting and this is just my favourite - I cannot even tell you how good this is.
Edited 2010-07-05 21:10 (UTC)

[identity profile] loneraven.livejournal.com 2010-07-08 02:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, honey! I can't tell you how pleased I am that you liked this story. It's my first story for the fandom that isn't a crossover, and I think of you as rather an authority on all things Stephen, so, seriously. So very pleased.
shehasathree: (Default)

[personal profile] shehasathree 2010-07-06 05:00 am (UTC)(link)
love.
The first line is the best, for me.

[identity profile] loneraven.livejournal.com 2010-07-08 02:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you!

[identity profile] the-acrobat.livejournal.com 2010-07-06 06:58 pm (UTC)(link)
This is beautiful.

[identity profile] loneraven.livejournal.com 2010-07-08 02:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Thanks, honey. :)
sparowe: (spookysandra's Cello)

[personal profile] sparowe 2010-07-07 01:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Magnificent. :)
Edited 2010-07-07 13:19 (UTC)

[identity profile] loneraven.livejournal.com 2010-07-08 02:05 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you!
jedibuttercup: Notebook and Pen (Default)

[personal profile] jedibuttercup 2010-07-08 04:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Beautiful.

[identity profile] loneraven.livejournal.com 2010-07-08 11:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you!
proskynesis: (m&c: which it is the doctor)

[personal profile] proskynesis 2010-07-10 11:48 pm (UTC)(link)
What [livejournal.com profile] teh_elb said. This is beautiful, and very almost made me cry (the last bit, oh).

[identity profile] loneraven.livejournal.com 2010-07-11 11:56 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, I'm so glad you liked it.
esteven: (Default)

[personal profile] esteven 2010-07-15 04:27 pm (UTC)(link)
but with that dragging anchor pulling him back through time, to those first days, that eerie learning of the anatomy of heat. He had come from Ireland; he had found the sailing a trial to his stomach before he had found it a stimulus to his mind, and in these new ruins, found his attention shifting to each cardinal point in turn, drawn this direction and that by everything that swam and flew, fluttered and scuttled its way across the earth.

What beautiful and vivid description of Stephen's thoughts. I feel the heat, the wandering ideas, first vague and then more detailed the longer he remembers.

Thank you.

[identity profile] loneraven.livejournal.com 2010-07-17 11:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you for reading! I'm so pleased this worked for you.
esteven: (Default)

[personal profile] esteven 2010-07-18 09:54 am (UTC)(link)
It sure did. :D I hope this will only be the first of several.

[identity profile] morelindo.livejournal.com 2010-07-15 09:41 pm (UTC)(link)
I am sure I will give you more coherent feedback when I've read and re-read it and it's not half eleven on the eve of an exam and I'm not tired as hell, but for now, just have this:

This is stunning, and beautiful, and gave me goosebumps and watery eyes, and definitely a fantastic thing to take away to the land of dreams with me.
Thank you.

[identity profile] loneraven.livejournal.com 2010-07-17 11:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you so much for reading it. I'm really glad.

[identity profile] morelindo.livejournal.com 2010-07-28 04:28 pm (UTC)(link)
You know, I have read and re-read it and I'm still a bit lost for words. But I'll try anyway, although I fear I have nothing to say except seconding what everyone else has said.

Beautiful descriptions of Stephen, of the passage of time and of slowly re-emerging memories - anchored across the intervening time - what a great image.

And the words, the Irish, the Catalan, the languages. Oh.

It was a world of dizzy and distant riches, to be studied and catalogued but also to be drunk in, handled as rich earth spilling through small hands.

YES. That is a perfect image, and such a great description of Stephen.

And generally just beautiful wording.

It was in that summer that he learned the meaning of foreigner; that in truth it was a meaningless term, that all had travelled somewhere to be where they were, and he was foreign himself, to himself, and to all around.
Oh Stephen.


This is lush and thickly, evocatively descriptive, and you found the perfect way to end it as well, which I think is always the hard bit.

He had grown older in mere days and years in that place, Catalan replacing Irish as the quicker language on his lips, but it was also, in that place, that he had begun to be whom he would be... remembering that first time he had felt no fear of the creatures of the earth and sky, knowing himself a part of all he studied, knowing himself.

Delightful. Just delightful. Thank you again.
sid: (Stephen cello)

[personal profile] sid 2010-07-16 02:57 am (UTC)(link)
This makes me so happy that Stephen never outgrew his fascination with nature. It's truly a part of the man he's become.

Lovely ficlet. :-)

[identity profile] loneraven.livejournal.com 2010-07-17 11:33 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you! :)

[identity profile] gillianinoz.livejournal.com 2010-07-16 03:39 am (UTC)(link)
This story is being recced everywhere - I'm so glad not to have missed it. Reading it is like listening to poetry, in fact I have given into the urge to read passages aloud to myself.

Thanks so much for sharing, I do hope to read many more such gems from you in the future!!

[identity profile] loneraven.livejournal.com 2010-07-17 11:33 pm (UTC)(link)
*smiles* Oh, yay. Thank you for reading!
feroxargentea: (Default)

[personal profile] feroxargentea 2010-07-18 10:41 am (UTC)(link)
At that time he had been caught up in the strangeness of it all, and thought nothing of his own strangeness... he had felt no fear of the creatures of the earth and sky, knowing himself a part of all he studied, knowing himself.

*nods*
This is just, it's just lovely. Thank you.

[identity profile] loneraven.livejournal.com 2010-07-19 10:51 am (UTC)(link)
And thank you for reading it. :)
luzula: a Luzula pilosa, or hairy wood-rush (Default)

[personal profile] luzula 2010-08-02 06:33 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh wow, this is so beautiful. I just finished reading one of the books and am filled with love for them, and this was exactly what I needed, I think. Oh, Stephen. &hearts

[identity profile] luthien13.livejournal.com 2010-09-18 06:45 am (UTC)(link)
My brain exploded. I wish I could give this the quality comment it deserves, but... brain BOOM!