raven | (no subject)

Sometimes I feel weird about letting this kind of thing take up space! But you've gotta give people a chance to know you. I've used they/them pronouns since 2018. That's still right, but it's she/her as well as they/them now. Both are fine, both in the same sentence especially fine.

(Wouldn't people misgender an afab nonbinary person enough for they/she to happen organically? Not my friends, family and work colleagues!)

Anyway I'm such a huge believer in your pronouns being what make you happy more than a means to reflect your innermost truths! But, well, I've been calling myself a bisexual nonbinary person and have been using they/them pronouns all this time and that was right; I've felt truthful and expansive, living that. But for the last year or two I've been saying, bi lesbian, or lesbian-leaning bisexual; and I suppose this is a new space of inhabitation. And I'm not overly concerned about people getting it "right", but if I'm laying out a preferred inhabitation, I guess this is my eternal refusenik status biting back. Genderqueer. Nonbinary, but not like that. And woman, wife, lesbian, but not female, because who is.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Thanks for clarifying! Honestly, it's really helpful - I saw you were using she/her pronouns in your recent book bios, and I wasn't sure whether that was just a "for public consumption" sort of thing, or a change, or (as you have said!) that both are good.

That's what prompted it really - I confused the hell out of one reviewer who was doing their best to be respectful courteous!