anxiety

[raven]

Things that are causing me to be anxious at the moment, a non-exhaustive list:

1. Sleeping (ahaha, it is a hollow laughter);

2. Wedding, comma, the one this weekend (what if it all goes wrong! what if everyone hates everyone else! what if the friend-of-a-friend band don't turn up! what if I FALL ON MY FACE! what if the carefully constructed schedule all falls to pieces! my entire family are coming! it will be just another instance of my inability to do anything right! (see also 5!) oh hell);

3. Wedding, comma, the one in December, the one that is ages away (ages away! ages! John Lewis are selling Christmas stuff!);

4. Welcome to Night Vale (I haven't listened to the latest episode - what if Carlos and Cecil break up? what will I doooo? self, are you really so invested in a half-hour podcast about made-up people? yes yes yes, oh help)

5. Continued unemployment (I had three job interviews last week - it looks like I have not got any of the three jobs);

6. yuletide nominations (it looks so complicated! there has been so much on it I've missed! if I nominate anything it will all go wrong and I will be one of those people who cannot follow simple instructions!);

7. Writing. Can't do it any more. Not a word. Making a speech on Saturday that I haven't written. Hi.

Largely due to (1) and (3), I am not on Twitter or Tumblr a lot this week.

Things that are not causing me to be anxious at the moment, an exhaustive list:

1. Shim;

2. Parks and Recreation (post coming on WHY I LOVE THIS STUPID SHOW SO MUCH, spoilers it has to do with municipal land use and planning!);

3. BBC Alba (I wish I were kidding. I just watched a thoughtful news report on the status of minority languages in Europe. I understood about one word in ten. It was great.).

4. Shim.

Comments

[littlered2.livejournal.com]

We should talk about Parks and Recreation! I have only just started watching it recently, but I adore it. It's so cheering.

(ages away! ages! John Lewis are selling Christmas stuff!)
I saw mince pies in the supermarket the other day, but this is clearly utter lunacy. It is, as you say, ages.

I am so excited for you about the wedding! I will be thinking of you. I hope it is lovely and you are not too stressed. And even if things are not perfect, you will still be married at the end! (When I had my graduation ceremony, the college Dean of Degrees - very friendly, looked a bit like Derren Brown, gave us rigorous training in how to bow - told us, comfortingly, that as long as we made it to the Sheldonian in one piece, we would graduate, even if we got a few things wrong.) I am so impressed and awed by you managing the whole "feeling ready to get married" thing (a stage I hope to reach).

I wish I were a partner in a law firm so I could give you a job. You are excellent, and more than deserve one.

[littlered2.livejournal.com]

(Also! Lucy Mangan, who I love very much, fell over at her wedding. And most people didn't notice and it was completely fine.)

[serriadh.livejournal.com]

This sort of advice (which is brilliant, btw) always makes me think of this:
Whatever I may have done since, this remains. Scholar; Master of Arts; Domina; Senior Member of this University (statutum est quod Juniories Senioribus debitam et congruam reverentiam tum in privato tum in publico exhibeant); a place achieved, inalienable, worthy of reverence.

And, you know, her boyfriend was a shit and then died and then she was nearly hanged for his murder. Your wedding will be awesome.

[littlered2.livejournal.com]

And you are having a honeymoon on a houseboat (right?) so there will be no cellar to find a corpse in.

[loneraven.livejournal.com]

This is a very kind and cheering comment. Thank you. <3

[littlered2.livejournal.com]

<3 <3 <3
I am so excited and happy for you, and I am certain that, whatever minor things don't go perfectly, it will all be great.

(Parks and Rec thoughts! One of the things I really like about it is that the main character is ambitious, and a woman, and that's okay! We are all behind Leslie Knope and want her to succeed, And the people who think she's setting her sights too high - like Ron and Mark assuming the pit is a pointless project - are not half as sympathetic and great as her. It reminds me of a thing I read in a book by Hadley Freeman the other day (now sadly lent to someone). She was talking about Tina Fey's book Bossypants and how she's really self-deprecating in it - because, you know, women being satisfied and pleased with themselves is Bad - and how, conversely, Amy Poehler won and award of some sort, and there was a video of work she'd done in the past shown at the ceremony. And she didn't act embarrassed and modest, she smiled gleefully at it. It's so refreshing.)