anxiety

[raven]

Things that are causing me to be anxious at the moment, a non-exhaustive list:

1. Sleeping (ahaha, it is a hollow laughter);

2. Wedding, comma, the one this weekend (what if it all goes wrong! what if everyone hates everyone else! what if the friend-of-a-friend band don't turn up! what if I FALL ON MY FACE! what if the carefully constructed schedule all falls to pieces! my entire family are coming! it will be just another instance of my inability to do anything right! (see also 5!) oh hell);

3. Wedding, comma, the one in December, the one that is ages away (ages away! ages! John Lewis are selling Christmas stuff!);

4. Welcome to Night Vale (I haven't listened to the latest episode - what if Carlos and Cecil break up? what will I doooo? self, are you really so invested in a half-hour podcast about made-up people? yes yes yes, oh help)

5. Continued unemployment (I had three job interviews last week - it looks like I have not got any of the three jobs);

6. yuletide nominations (it looks so complicated! there has been so much on it I've missed! if I nominate anything it will all go wrong and I will be one of those people who cannot follow simple instructions!);

7. Writing. Can't do it any more. Not a word. Making a speech on Saturday that I haven't written. Hi.

Largely due to (1) and (3), I am not on Twitter or Tumblr a lot this week.

Things that are not causing me to be anxious at the moment, an exhaustive list:

1. Shim;

2. Parks and Recreation (post coming on WHY I LOVE THIS STUPID SHOW SO MUCH, spoilers it has to do with municipal land use and planning!);

3. BBC Alba (I wish I were kidding. I just watched a thoughtful news report on the status of minority languages in Europe. I understood about one word in ten. It was great.).

4. Shim.

Comments

[greek-jester.livejournal.com]

Here's my "hair curlers" theory of weddings, taken from a rather remarkable story from a magazine.

background:

The bride worked as a wedding planner at a posh stately home turned wedding venue/hotel. She planned her perfect wedding there, with the perfect dress, the perfect menu, everything planned down to the last detail. The night before, the wedding party bedded down in their rooms, ready to get ready bright and early in the morning.

Before dawn, a small fire lead to the building being evacuated. No-one was hurt and there was no structural damage, but the wing she was staying in, including everything in her room, was smoke-damaged.

She was standing in the courtyard in her pyjamas, fluffy slippers and hair curlers. The person who was marrying them turned up and said that they could either get married now, as they were (hair curlers and all) or she could wait several months until there was another open slot.

She decided that marrying the man she loved was more important than all the frippery, so she got married (in the fluffy slippers and hair curlers; there was pictorial evidence!) and went with a blessing months later so that she could have the party with her friends and family.

/background

In the end, is the marriage important enough to you both that, if everything that can go wrong does go wrong, you'll go through with it anyway to be married to Shim? If the answer is yes, then it doesn't matter what happens at the wedding, as you will always be able to remember joining yourself to him. Anything else is just an amusing story to tell at family gatherings in the future.

Your true family and friends will just have a giggle at any mistakes, then pick you up (physically or metaphorically) dust you off and help fix whatever broke.

Anyone else doesn't matter anyway.