raven | Two quick things

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Two quick things

I am well. A little frazzled, a little lonely, but generally doing okay. In a minute I need to go and do some actual work for a class, omg, etc. I have lots of thoughts about how weird the US legal system is from my perspective, but they can wait, possibly forever.

Two things, quickly. Firstly, a rec:

Five Things Rosie Weasley Misses During Her First Year At Hogwarts, by

deathbyshinies.
A Melbourne girl goes to Hogwarts. This is so, so, so lovely. It's a nuanced, thoughtful rendering of one particular postcolonial experience, and it's done with such a light, clever touch. I love the splashes of colour in it - snowball fights, international Floo - and I love its warmth. Everyone needs to read it, like, now; it's something we need more of in fandom.

(Also, it was a going-away present for me. <3, honey.)

Secondly, I need some advice, or some help, or something. I have met quite a few people on my course now, and they seem nice. They are nice: nice, staid, copyright-law-abiding types. Which is so far so hoopy and I'm sure I will make friends, yes, etc.

But, well, I have made some preliminary enquiries, and it seems Cornell doesn't have the tradition Oxford does of societies for, well, everything. I was variously a member of Docsoc, Taruithorn and the late great

ou3fs, and in the end I made very few friends who weren't in some way peripherally connected to them. Societies here are Serious - you know, the Cornell Student Lawyers and Cornell Democrats and the Indian Students' Association, that sort of thing, and not what I'm after. There must be geeks and fannish people at Cornell - but how do I find them?

(Before anyone mentions it: yes, there is an LGBT society here, and I may check out their events, I may not. I'm just kind of reluctant about that, seeing as I am the stereotype of the queer-woman-in-relationship-with-man, and you don't know in advance how welcoming people are going to be to that.)

Any advice much appreciated, yes.

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Cornell as in the US university? I have a friend who went there; I can ask him if he knows of anything. (Though he was not likely to be a member of such clubs, he might know of them.)

Yes, indeed. Thank you, that would be very kind. :)

Hey hey! I go to Cornell, actually. Welcome to Ithaca! I think we have a couple of mutual friends, in fact -

such_heights and

happydork. Anyway! I am not much of a clubs person, but most of the ones I know are interest-specific; there are a lot of glee clubs (choirs, other singing-type things), as well as a lot of dance clubs and theatre clubs. Then there's stuff like the juggling club, the bowling club, the boxing club, etc. Really depends on what you're into (although my experience with the LGBTQ societies at Cornell is that they're kind of meh). Anyway, here's a partial list of some of the clubs to give you an idea. A lot of students hang out a the Big Red Barn on campus (it's a big red barn, can't miss it) for TGIF nights, and a lot of grad students hang out at Felicia's Atomic Lounge (downtown just past the Commons), which is technically a lesbian bar but tends to be more a grad-student bar. But it's tiny and cosy and nice.

As far as geek stuff goes, I've not really run into any official geeky groups, but then, I haven't looked too hard. But if you want any advice about navigating the town - food shopping, other shopping, banks, where stuff is, all that, I'm happy to help. :)

I just have to say: I read your The Stand story for Yuletide months ago and loved it SO HARD, so if you and

raven become friends, it will probably make my life. :)

oh, thank you! I didn't expect anyone to remember that story, so that makes me happy. :)

Hi there! I really, really appreciate your comment, I'm starting to feel like a stranger in a strange land. I think

such_heights is here at the weekend, also? I was hoping to meet her, finally, so this comes at an apt time!

Re: the clubs and stuff, I'm not so bothered by structured socialising. Just, where the hell do I meet people, any people, who are fannish or geeky or queer or some combination? Thank you for the recs for places to hang out!

Oh, also! Where can I get a haircut? I have long thick layered hair that I want made into short thick layered hair, but I haven't come across a single hairdresser in all my travels.

Hmm. Could you arrange a showing of Doctor Who or something similarly geeky (either at your apartment or somewhere on campus) and put up a flyer in your departmental mailroom or computer lab announcing it (or e-mail it to your departmental listserve)? Assuming you have any or all of these things, of course, though I can't think of a grad program at UT that didn't. That was how social activities got organized among likeminded types in my grad department. People also used Facebook to organize events, but that would depend on how connected you are to people on there.

From such an event, in theory, would come conversation and geeky friendships. I'm assuming also that the law program you're in is big enough to harbor a critical mass of geeks who maybe just haven't shown themselves. If you're looking to find friends outside your department...well, we were pretty balkanized at UT, and I think it's the same in many places, so I lack suggestions there. :(

Oh, wow, that's something I hadn't thought of. I am too much of an introvert to do something like it - if I could only find one other likeminded person, or maybe two, I'd dare to do something like that! Thank you for the idea, I shall stored it for when I'm feeling brave.

You're welcome. If it helps, you might think of it as "I only have to do this once. Just once, then never again!" Maybe this would help? Sometimes I find it a useful sort of...not reverse psychology, but the term I want is escaping me. Fooling myself, basically.

Another suggestion is hanging out in the department computer lab with geeky things up on the screen in hopes of spurring conversation, but I'm not sure how successful that would be.

Er... I tried looking though the Cornell activities directory, and the geekiest thing I could locate was the Digital Gaming Alliance (http://sao.cornell.edu/SO/org/10-11/59), or perhaps the Games Club (http://sao.cornell.edu/SO/org/10-11/75), but I don't think that's the variety of geek you mean. Perhaps the Film Club (http://sao.cornell.edu/SO/org/10-11/448), or the Quidditch Club (http://sao.cornell.edu/SO/org/10-11/1256)?

Side note, how many acapella groups does one college campus really need? I lost count after the fifth one. Seriously.

And, not that I am personally a club or group of any kind, but soon I will be in Aurora, and there is a daily shuttle from Aurora to Ithaca, and I would love to finally meet you after being LJ friends with you for the better part of a decade. :)

Wow, I totally missed the Quidditch club on my scan through! Wow. I really wish there were a proper freshers' fair or something! A capella - there were also lots of these when I was an undergrad. Maybe they reach critical mass and start multiplying.

And, oh, hey, I would love that! When you move up to Wells, let me know. :)

There are four Oxford A Capella groups just in the same venue-cluster as us in Edinburgh.

This is probably a stupid question, but does Cornell have any sort of "Student Organizations" page on their website? Surely at a big uni like Cornell there's SOME kind of nerdy organization - but it may be geared towards undergrads.

It does have one, but it seems to be a work in progress this early in the semester. I think I shall have to keep an eye on it. (Part of my impatience is to do with my only being here ten months, so making friends is pretty vital for me - and I appreciate I'm preaching to the choir there. :))

Wait, they update it between semesters? How utterly bizarre and efficient!

Again, possibly a pointless suggestion because you've already thought of it, but simply wearing nerdy things to class (surely you've got a DW t-shirt or 5) or other events with a casual dress code can make you a lot of friends.

And yes, I totally understand and I 100% trust that you'll get there. :D

*smiles* Thanks, honey. When the weather cools down enough for sleeves, I shall wear my xkcd t-shirt to classes. (The book is in the campus bookstore! Somebody's out there!)

I have no advice but I hope the loneliness and frazzledness will fade, soon, with time.

Also - I have aleady listened to some Vienna Teng and I am already head over heels in love with her. This is just the kind of music I like when I'm windng down for bed. Thank you for reviewing her and introducing me! :)

Thank you, sweet. I'm so glad you like her!

If you like Vienna Teng, have you ever listened to Mary Black or Eddi Reader? They have a somewhat similar style in that whole soft, melodic lullabyness with creative but gentle lyrics thing going on. I very highly recommend. :)

Edited 2010-08-19 00:51 (UTC)

Thanks! I shall note them down for later reference!

Eek! I have no advice! I hate having no advice! ;)
... but my previous roommate, whom I recruited so that I would have someone to speak German to, made dozens of friends, and all through International Students Association and German Club. Turns out they get together, chat, have drinks, go out for dinner, organize trips, and just generally have a fantastic time. Those societies may be less Serious than they sound.

Oh, I hope so. The international students' fair and shindig is on Saturday. I will go with my cheeriest smile on.

Things that worked as an undergraduate included checking out a few key community boards (the 2 class buildings I used the most, the cafeteria, the library and my dorm lounge; loads of film showings, music 'coffeehouses,' trips to surrounding attractions and that sort of thing), the school paper (my first school actually had a daily newsletter that had loads of spontaneous sort of stuff, I would think Cornell would have something similar), the school radio station (always an...interesting...brand of people).

There should also be an international student group; mine had a specific international orientation at the beginning of the year and was really fun and low-key and the source of most of my social activities and friends I wasn't in classes or dorms with. I wasn't really a sci-fi geek in school, but my last one had a Society for Creative Anachronism (SCA), also a rather interesting bunch, and they would do these reading marathons of Tolkien books and show Harry Potter movies and that kind of stuff (even though they were really more about the history).

There's also your public library; I'm sure they could point you to interesting things in Ithaca in general. And on that note, this seems to have gone on longer than I'd thought...good luck!

Thank you for all the tips! Esp. the newsletter idea - I shall look into it.

My plan of action, both in high school and undergrad, was always to find the drama groups on campus and hang out on their fringes; drama clubs are full of Our People (queer, smart, geeky, offbeat). You don't even have to be an actor(/director/stagehand/whatever)! You can just be friends with all of them. :)

It also might be worthwhile to check out student literary magazines and writing clubs, that sort of thing. Some of those can be a little too srs-bizness publication-focused wacko, yeah, but some of them are more laid-back and hobby-oriented. (If you're lucky.)

Plan B: come to Connecticut and drink with dorky English students?

(We have a lot of LGBT-oriented activities during orientation, too. I'm psyched as hell, since I didn't have much chance to participate in the equivalent groups in college. But it sucks that you have to worry about queer-in-a-heterosexual-relationship acceptance.)

That is a great idea. Thank you! OULES played that role for me, I'm sure you remember - but how to tell the difference between that sort of drama and Srs Bzns sort of drama? I think I'll have to work on it.

But it sucks that you have to worry about queer-in-a-heterosexual-relationship acceptance.)

Yeah, it really does. *shakes head* Of course I may be wrong and they may be very welcoming people, so I am trying not to pre-judge! *twitch*

Yeah, that's why I never actually participated in the drama department, and instead just made friends with people in it. Less pressure to be talented!

Let me know how your LGBT-group(s) initiation goes, and I'll let you know how mine goes. :)

You'll be fine. You're extremely charming and easy to be with; people will love you.

I have no advice, as I'm rubbish at meeting people, but I just wanted to say that I finished the first Hex book and eeeeeee. Fluff, definite fluff, but FUN. Intellectual property law! <3 <3 <3

So thank you for the recommendation.

omg, yaaay! So glad you liked, especially as the second one came in the post today. :)

(Okay, so now you know the context: I have a crush on Owen. Even though the narrative patently WANTS me to have a crush on Owen. Is that bad? That's bad, right.)

It's horribly bad. We can sit in the bad corner together. Owen is <3.

I am writing fic. :( :(

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

I mean. Ahem. How very sad and disappointing, I am sure.

EEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have read book two and it is FABULOUS and now I need book three.

fic! (http://loneraven.livejournal.com/677185.html) am halfway through book two now, third one's on order...

I haven't read book three. . . I started, and something just. . . well, I bounced.

So. Um. I'm almost done with book four!

A (non-geeky) friend who spent a year at Wellesley used to go along to International Student events on occasion, partly because they were geared towards people who were about out of traditional term time. She met a wide range of people and (most of them) were lovely. Some of the American students who were helping/'befriending' were a bit earnest (at least the ones I met when I visited her) but she made some firm friends. I second the idea of a geeky t-shirt/badge though.

Today I went to an international students fair in an xkcd t-shirt. I shall stick with the strategy!

There are xkcd t-shirts? Oh wow... I mean good for you!

I have no helpful advice beyond continuing to keep an eye out for other like-minded types, but I hope you find people, and that there do turn out to be some societies that are what you're looking for. One of my biggest regrets about my time at Oxford so far is being too shy to involve myself in geeky societies; I have some lovely friends, but I really wish I had thrown myself into societies from the start, because I really feel the lack of fannish friends sometimes.

Thank you, my dear, and believe me, it is definitely not too late, re: Oxford. If you're still there when I return at Christmas I will take you around and introduce you myself. :)

If I'm around, that would be really great! Thank you, it's much appreciated.

*HUGS* I MISSSSSSS YOUUUUU.

Starting at a new university must be so scary, especially all the way over in America. You are so brave and awesome and I admire you so much.

*sniff* you toooooo. I do not feel brave, I feel slightly pathetic. It is scary here! Everyone is so shiny and polished and I am skeered.

It is soon Turkyria tiems, is that right?

You are brave! You're being there is the proof of your bravery! And when you look around at all the shiny happy people you can be like "Yeah, well, BUT I'M A HERO."

SOOON - hopefully we'll get passports and visas back on Wednesday.

In my experience, most American universities don't have much in the way of organized club-type things for people who aren't undergraduate students, unfortunately. (I've spent close to 4 years in two graduate schools, and still have failed to figure out how to meet people as easily as I did in undergrad).

Most of the people I've met have been through roommates and classmates and people who work in the same building as me and it kinda spreads outward. There's also a decent chance with looking for out-of-school activities. The "activities" section of Craigslist can sometimes be good for this, or looking for book groups at the library or bookstore, or google "Ithaca" and the name of what you're looking for. I also know people who've had a lot of success with meetup.com

Good luck! Hopefully they'll be some good bonding within your department, and definitely take advantage of any beginning-of-year orientation or meeting activities the grad school offers.

So I'm finding, and it kind of sucks. I went to the international students' clubs and orgs fair today, and there were TWO stalls. One for East Asians, and one hawking health insurance. I felt cheated.

Thanks for the tips. :)

Thank you so much for the rec, lovey. And I'm seconding the person above who suggested the dramaz -- it was definitely the best way I found to make friends in Oxford. And you certainly don't have to act, either -- if they're anything like .ox, they're sure to have marketing, or light crew jobs (scenepainting, working on costumes etc) up for grabs.

You're very welcome. It's a lovely story, and I think it really should get as wide attention as possible.

Dramaz! How do I tell the different, though, between Srs Drama and the kind of thing I'm looking for? Poking around online only really reveals really serious stuff.

Late to the party here, but in my experience (of two law schools) the Outlaw/LGBT groups either swing towards nerdy/awkward and inclusive activists or the main way the gay boys socialize and network. Not sure which Cornell is, but you could stand a chance at finding some nerds there. You might also try a meetup website like meetup.com. They have a geek culture section. Ditto OKcupid. I know it's a dating website technically but it's fairly normal to use it to just meet people as friends and it's full of fen and geeks.

Alternatively, you could start a book club and pick some really nerdy book to start with...

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Two quick things

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