As a wise person once (recently!) said: "Optimism, optimism, go with the optimism..."

But seriously...

If I were clever, I wouldn't be different, I'd get myself a medical degree and think I was in paradise.

It's because you are clever that you aren't likely to be happy following a path that just isn't right for you. And I really wish your mother could accept that, or at the very least acknowledge it.

And I'm so, so sorry that it's making you miserable to the point of Not Caring Anymore. :(